Wednesday, February 9, 2011
nurturing your marriage
Check out these simple steps and improve your marriage. Practicing these small steps will make a world of difference in your relationship with your spouse.
Open Your Heart
Any relationship works only when you open your heart and convey your feelings to the other person. And this is specially necessary in marriage, where the husband and wife are said to be of one flesh and blood. An increased bank balance or a healthy sex life with your spouse loses does not mean much unless you two have a candid relationship. So make it a point to indulge in a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner, at least for half an hour each day.
Know your spouse
Most of us live married for years without actually knowing our partner. This is because most of us are too full of ourselves to pay attention to others. That's why, often we fail to recognize our mates properly and miss out little things about them till we come to know about them through some other source or when a third person points out those things. That fills us with guilt and often makes us jealous. But the truth is, you should spend more time with your partner and try to understand him/her more.
Be on Time
Being punctual is the greatest tip for people of both sexes. Be on time for your date. It's real bad manners on your part to turn up late and let your date wait anxiously. It makes you seem rude and an insincere person to have a relationship with.
Listening
Try to talk less and listen more. That way, you will discover your spouse's thoughts and feelings more and more. A recently conducted research shows that the average person listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting with his/her own ideas. Probably you do it too. But you can improve it. Work to increase your listening span more and more. Practice looking at and paying attention to your spouse when he/she talks to you. Remember, listening begins with seeing and having eye contact with your patrner while having a conversation, shows that you are attentive to the words being spoken to you.
Don't Bicker
A lot of marriages head to the brink of seperation only because of constant bickering among the partners. Do you do so too? Just pause and think, how many times did you tell something to your spouse that you repented upon later and rued that you had better left it unsaid? Ignore the little things, and save the confrontations for the bigger problems. Whenever an argument arises, try to solve it peacefully. Even if you have to raise your voice, never lose temper and never let the thought of seperation cross your mind. No marriage is perfect and differences are part of any relationship, be itamong friends or family members or spouses. Tolerance, a little patience, understanding your partner's wishes and respecting his/her opinions are what are required for a smooth marriage life. Be gentle with one another and never go to bed angry with each another. This is harder on the both of you. Keep in mind that no problem is so big that you can't solve it together. No trouble is worth breaking your marriage over.
Appreciate
A common habit of most humans is to see only the negative qualities in their spouse and ignore the posive ones. But no relationship can benefit from constant criticizing and nitpicking. Try to appreciate whatever good you find in your partner and do so openly, vocally. Remember, all of us want a little appreciation in our lives.
Talk
Communication is the key to a healthy marriage. Having a great relationship doesn't mean that things are always perfect. If you have problems, you need to talk about them, and work out a solution that is acceptable to both of you. Make sure that you have an open relationship with your spouse. That way, you will get to know what your partner's expectations are from you. Once you get to know, do not ignore those. Work on them. The little botherations of today can build up into something so big tomorrow, that you may not be able to solve them ever.
Thank your Partner
Try to thank your partner now and then for everyday things like making a meal, taking out the garbage, cleaning the garage or buying the groceries. Common courtesies help a great deal in any relationship. Whatever duties your partner performs in a relationship, a thank you or a compliment can mean a lot. We all crave for some acknowledgement in life. Tell your spouse at some opportune moment, how much he/ she means to you. Acnowledgement is a great necessity in marriage; it fills the recipent with a sense of belonging and acts as an encouragement. If you're not used to doing this, you may need some time to really think about what life would be like without your partner.
Laugh
The couple that laughs together often, stays together always. Modern life has resulted in all of us being tensed and worried for some reason or another all the time. Laughter goes on to ease that. Try to make one another laugh everyday! Too much serious talking can leave you both stressed out, making you both grumpy. Joking and having a good laugh every now and then is necessary for a happy married life.
Share the reponsibilities
The birth of a child often intensifies the stress in the household and creates a distance between husband and wife. Men normally tend to distance themselves from the entire situation, leaving the mother to feel alone and burdened with the responsibilty of rearing the child. This is a wrong approach, for bringing up a baby requires the sharing of feelings and responsibilities of both parents.
Spend time with each other
Take a break and try to spend sometime with each other from time to time. This tends to keep the romance alive and provides both partners a welcome relief from the hassles of family life. Even if ytou have a baby, arrange for a babysitter, and enjoy time as a couple. Go out to dine together, watch a movie or enjoy some game that you both like. Leave aside all worries for sometime and enjoy life in the company of each other. You will be surprised at how refreshed you feel and these timeoffs will give you both a renewed energy and enthusiasm to face life.
Say "I love you!"
I Love You. Just saying these magic words now and then can help you keep the flame of romance burning in your life. Try it often. You're feel a visible difference, not only in your marriage, but in your entire family as well. Remember, happy couples are the foundation for happy families!
Cleck loved you @ 1:59 PM
